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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Death of the Fringe Suburb

Drive through any number of outer-ring suburbs in America, and you’ll see boarded-up and vacant strip malls, surrounded by vast seas of empty parking spaces.

These forlorn monuments to the real estate crash are not going to come back to life, even when the economy recovers.

Ziggy

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Free shipping now costs more

Retailers are raising their minimums, a move that often encourages more spending.
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Awesome Pictures

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Myths about colds and flus

Many of the things people do to purge their homes of germs won't help.  
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Kidnapper sues former hostages

A man who held a Kansas couple hostage in their home while fleeing from authorities is suing them, claiming that they broke an oral contract made when he promised them money in exchange for hiding him from police.

Public Transportation

Andrew Harding had to take a picture during a 5AM train ride in Chicago, or no one would believe what he saw. 
It makes sense when you realize the photo was taken on October 30th.  

Daily Comic Relief

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Burger King revamps fries

Competition from rivals drives the chain to reinvent a key menu item for the first time in years. 
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Mashed potato decadence

It's hard to imagine your go-to recipe tastes better than Chef Fabio's comfort food creation.  
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Bacteria in bagged salads

The greens may not be nearly as clean as the "triple-washed" and "pre-washed" labels suggest.  
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Weekly fish lowers Alzheimer's risk

People who eat baked or grilled fish on a weekly basis may be improving their brain health and reducing the risk of developing Alzheimer's disease, according to a new study.

Only one brother survives after three suffer heart attacks on same day

Two Italian brothers suffered fatal heart attacks on the same day, while a third was left fighting for his life. The bizarre incident happened as Guido Garofalo, 45 and his older brother Alberto, 53, were on a picnic with their wives and children. First to have a heart attack was Guido who collapsed to the ground in front of the horrified group and as his brother tried to save him, he too grabbed at his chest.

Paramedics were immediately called to the scene at Pianeta di Nicolosi on the slopes of Mt Etna near Catania on the island of Sicily but both were declared dead by the helicopter crew that had arrived to help. The terrible coincidence then continued as it emerged at the same time a third brother, Salvatore, whose age is not known, suffered a heart attack as he visited their mother in hospital. Doctors and nurses rushed to help him and he is now recovering in the intensive care unit with staff saying the fact he was in hospital when he had the attack had "probably saved his life." He has not been informed of his brothers' death and a sister who lives in Rome and who is known to suffer from a heart condition has also not been told.


Dr Thekia Maurhoff, of the Garibaldi hospital in Catania, said: "All three cases are being investigated – it is quite unique and I have never heard of anything similar like this happening three heart attacks in three brothers all at the same time. From initial checks it would appear that all three brothers suffered from a heart condition and this lead to them all suffering attacks, virtually at the same time and in two cases they proved to be fatal.

"Salvatore is currently in a stable condition in the intensive care unit of the hospital and his condition is being closely monitored but the fact he was in hospital at the time certainly helped save his life." Professor Filippo Crea, an expert at the cardiology unit of Rome's Cattolica University, said: "Genetic factors almost certainly played a part in this tragic event as heart attacks in those aged under 60 are usually caused for those reasons."

A Bar Joke

A "C," an "E-flat," and a "G" go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."

So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."

Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, with the sopranout in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest, and closes the bar.

Secret to a smoother robot

Researchers have figured out a way to turn "moving like a robot" into a compliment. 
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NY historic site's skeletons still hold mystery

They ranged in age from 20 to 45, stood between just over 5 feet 3 inches to 5 feet 9 inches tall, and most of them were male and intact, except for the one missing its skull.

B.C.

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Bloodsuckers

The mere mention of the Internal Revenue Service is enough to make most people squirm, but now some of the agency's own employees are feeling queasy after discovering bedbugs in their office.

Tax Office Snakes

No, not the self-important bureaucrat kind, the other kind, you know the ones that actually slither ...

Two farmers fed up with corruption emptied three bags of snakes in a busy tax office in northern India. Officials in Uttar Pradesh State had allegedly been withholding tax records to extract bribes.

An official says two farmers fed up with bribery demands emptied three bags filled with slithering snakes in a busy tax office in northern India.

Ringling Bros. Circus Fined Record Amount By USDA

The U.S. Department of Agriculture has slapped the parent company of the "Greatest Show on Earth" with a record penalty for animal rights violations.