Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Sunday, November 23, 2008

Six Truths of Life

Six Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.

3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

What Happens When An Idiot Meets His Echo?


Johnny Bravo Rocks!

Gas below $2.00!

Gas prices dropped nearly 33 cents in the past two weeks, dipping below $2 for the first time since March 2005, a national survey said Sunday.

The average price of self-serve, unleaded gasoline on Friday in the United States was $1.97, said Trilby Lundberg, publisher of the Lundberg Survey.

The last time the price was below $2 was on March 4, 2005, she said.

The all-time high average was $4.11, set on July 11, according to Lundberg, and prices have been dropping ever since.

*****

Around here it has fallen to $1.86. That's still a buck and a half too high!

Obama’s Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy

Stunning Break with Last Eight Years


In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.

Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama's appearance on CBS' "Sixty Minutes" on Sunday witnessed the president-elect's unorthodox verbal tic, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.

But Mr. Obama's decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.

According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a President who speaks English as if it were his first language.

"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."

The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate - we get it, stop showing off."

The President-elect's stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska.

"Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.

Great piece from the Borowitz Report.

Man shot and killed by scientologists in Los Angeles

Further proof those scientology whackos are just that - whacko!

Los Angeles police say a security guard at a scientology building shot and killed a man wielding a sword.
Officer April Harding says the man approached the guard in the parking lot of the scientology celebrity centre international around noon today (Sunday November 23, 2008).
Harding says the guard "felt threatened for his life" and fired at the man.
He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Homicide detectives have cordoned off the building in Hollywood to investigate.

Abbas threatens early elections

The Palestinian president says he will call elections in early 2009 if unity talks don't begin between his Fatah faction and its Hamas rivals.

Mahmoud Abbas says that if the sides don't start talking to each other by the beginning of the year, he will call elections for the presidency and for the Palestinian parliament.
Elections remain unlikely though, as Abbas' moderate government rules only the West Bank while the Hamas controls the Gaza Strip.

The violent split has paralyzed the Palestinians' fledgling democratic system.

Abbas was speaking today (November 22,2008) in Ramallah to leaders of the Fatah-dominated Palestine Liberation Organization.

Hamas says Abbas' four-year term in office is up on January 9, 2009.
But because of a contradictory Palestinian election law, Abbas has said the next election should be held simultaneously with a parliamentary vote scheduled in 2010.

Vatican: Beatles music better than today's songs

Wow! There is something that the Vatican and I can agree on!

Vatican media are praising the Beatles' musical legacy and sounding philosophical about John Lennon's boast that the British band was more popular than Jesus.

Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano recalls that Lennon's comment outraged many when he made it in 1966.

But it says in its Saturday edition that the remark can be written off now as the bragging of a young man wrestling with unexpected success.

The newspaper as well as Vatican Radio last week noted the 40th anniversary of the Beatles' "White Album."

It said the album demonstrated how creative the Beatles were, compared with what it called the "standardized, stereotypical" songs being produced today.


Well except for the Beatles are more popular than jesus thing - they are ... and it was no bragging on John's part when he said so ... more people know of and like the Beatles and their music than know or even care about jesus.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Twinkletoes


Let's dance with Stanley Laurel and Oliver Hardy.

Welcoming new readers

Carolina Naturally wants to welcome our newest readers in Bolivia.




Advertising for snitches

The Albuquerque Police Department has turned to the want ads for snitches.

An ad this week in the alternative newspaper The Alibi asks "people who hang out with crooks" to do part-time work for the police.

It reads in part: "Make some extra cash! Drug use and criminal record OK."

Capt. Joe Hudson says police received more than 30 responses in two days. He says one tip was a "big one" but wouldn't elaborate.

An informant whose tip helps officers arrest a drug dealer could earn $50. A tip about a murder suspect could bring up to $700.

It's not the first time department has run ads. In a program 10 years ago, police received so many calls they turned the phones off.

Man hopes jet pack takes him across Royal gorge

A daredevil hopes to propel himself across a southern Colorado canyon using a jet pack powered by hydrogen peroxide.

Eric Scott says that he's never traveled as far as he wants to on Monday: 1,500 feet.

The Royal Gorge is more than 1,100 feet deep. A bridge spanning it was the site of a deadly stunt in 2003 when a parachute jumper miscalculated and fell.

Scott works for Denver-based Jet P.I. The company developed a jet pack for stunts and promotions that is based on one developed in the 1960s for the military.

The original one could fly for only about 20 seconds. The new one can go for more than 30 seconds at faster than 70 mph.

Man sentenced for killing slow hairdresser

An Arkansas man has been sentenced to prison for fatally shooting a stylist who was taking too long to braid his hair.

Thirty-year-old Kerry Rendall Wilson of Little Rock was sentenced Friday to 24 years for second-degree murder. He will be eligible for parole in six years.

Wilson's lawyer says his client was high on marijuana dipped in formaldehyde when 39-year-old Henrietta Jones was killed in November 2007.

But the lawyer, Bill James, says one of the woman's sons actually killed her.

Orinoco Flow


Enya sings.

Happiness Is ...

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city.

~ George Burns

Proverbial Wisdom

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

Italian Proverb

And I Quote

What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.

~ Diogenes.

As of this moment ...

4203 Brave men and women will not be returning from Iraq
Alive!

Say What?!

No charges planned in Maine 'shotgun pool' sign

Authorities in Maine say no charges are planned against the owner of a store where a sign invited customers to bet on a date when President-elect Barack Obama would be assassinated.

Cumberland County Sheriff Mark Dion said Friday that Oak Hill General Store owner Steve Collins denied any knowledge of the "Osama Obama Shotgun Pool" sign.

Dion added that the sign was gone when a deputy visited the store in Standish to investigate the report on November 7th.

Dion said posting the sign would not necessarily constitute a threat or a terrorizing incident.

*****

So just what does constitute a threat or a terrorizing incident, then?

Idiots with guns

Authorities in Michigan say a hunter's stray bullet has grazed two young boys at a day care near Cheboygan.

The Cheboygan County sheriff's department says a 43-year-old woman fired her rifle at a deer on Thursday but the bullet penetrated a wall and grazed the boys - ages 3 and 5 - inside Angie's Country Kids Day Care in Benton Township.
The boys were released from a hospital after treatment.

Authorities say the woman was hunting about 400 yards away, and may not have realized there was a day care in the area.

*****

This is why there should be more stringent controls on guns. Better training on how to handle them is a must. And part of that knowing how to handle the is knowing what is around you when you fire a weapon.

OK, now all you morons out there who do not have a clue as to what the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution of the United States even says, much less means feel free to spout off so we will know what an idiot you are.

Relevance and the GOP

Jay Bookman points out in the Atlanta-Constitution that "an irrelevant republican party does no one any good."

To which the folks over at TalkLeft point out is only a half truth ... saying the other half of the equation is "an irrelevant republican party does no one any harm. it's not as if a 'relevant' republican party did any good for the nation as a whole."

They go on to point out:

The Republican Party is viewed favorably by 34 percent of Americans, while the Democratic Party is viewed favorably by 55 percent. It seems that lying about war, mismanaging the economy, letting New Orleans drown, bullying voters with endless threats about terrorist villains, and covering up scandals involving corruption or bad behavior have set the public against the GOP. Should that surprise us?

If Republicans want to become relevant again, the formula is simple. Learn to govern. Learn to behave. Learn to tell the truth. After the GOP does those things, it can consider another attempt to be relevant to the nation's future.

*****

Won't happen! The GOP will never be relevant to this nation's future ... it never has been in the first place. It has ever been the 'party' out to destroy this nation from its inception until this past November 4, 2009 when the nation said NO to their wanton destruction of our nation. It was the closest they have come to succeeding in their desires but we stopped them!