2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
The average price of self-serve, unleaded gasoline on Friday in the United States was $1.97, said Trilby Lundberg, publisher of the Lundberg Survey.
The last time the price was below $2 was on March 4, 2005, she said.
The all-time high average was $4.11, set on July 11, according to Lundberg, and prices have been dropping ever since.
*****
Around here it has fallen to $1.86. That's still a buck and a half too high!
In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.
Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama's appearance on CBS' "Sixty Minutes" on Sunday witnessed the president-elect's unorthodox verbal tic, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.
But Mr. Obama's decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.
According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a President who speaks English as if it were his first language.
"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."
The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate - we get it, stop showing off."
The President-elect's stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska.
"Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.
Great piece from the Borowitz Report.
Vatican media are praising the Beatles' musical legacy and sounding philosophical about John Lennon's boast that the British band was more popular than Jesus.
Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano recalls that Lennon's comment outraged many when he made it in 1966.
But it says in its Saturday edition that the remark can be written off now as the bragging of a young man wrestling with unexpected success.
The newspaper as well as Vatican Radio last week noted the 40th anniversary of the Beatles' "White Album."
It said the album demonstrated how creative the Beatles were, compared with what it called the "standardized, stereotypical" songs being produced today.
An ad this week in the alternative newspaper The Alibi asks "people who hang out with crooks" to do part-time work for the police.
It reads in part: "Make some extra cash! Drug use and criminal record OK."
Capt. Joe Hudson says police received more than 30 responses in two days. He says one tip was a "big one" but wouldn't elaborate.
An informant whose tip helps officers arrest a drug dealer could earn $50. A tip about a murder suspect could bring up to $700.
It's not the first time department has run ads. In a program 10 years ago, police received so many calls they turned the phones off.
Eric Scott says that he's never traveled as far as he wants to on Monday: 1,500 feet.
The Royal Gorge is more than 1,100 feet deep. A bridge spanning it was the site of a deadly stunt in 2003 when a parachute jumper miscalculated and fell.
Scott works for Denver-based Jet P.I. The company developed a jet pack for stunts and promotions that is based on one developed in the 1960s for the military.
The original one could fly for only about 20 seconds. The new one can go for more than 30 seconds at faster than 70 mph.
Thirty-year-old Kerry Rendall Wilson of Little Rock was sentenced Friday to 24 years for second-degree murder. He will be eligible for parole in six years.
Wilson's lawyer says his client was high on marijuana dipped in formaldehyde when 39-year-old Henrietta Jones was killed in November 2007.
But the lawyer, Bill James, says one of the woman's sons actually killed her.
The Republican Party is viewed favorably by 34 percent of Americans, while the Democratic Party is viewed favorably by 55 percent. It seems that lying about war, mismanaging the economy, letting New Orleans drown, bullying voters with endless threats about terrorist villains, and covering up scandals involving corruption or bad behavior have set the public against the GOP. Should that surprise us?
If Republicans want to become relevant again, the formula is simple. Learn to govern. Learn to behave. Learn to tell the truth. After the GOP does those things, it can consider another attempt to be relevant to the nation's future.
*****
Won't happen! The GOP will never be relevant to this nation's future ... it never has been in the first place. It has ever been the 'party' out to destroy this nation from its inception until this past November 4, 2009 when the nation said NO to their wanton destruction of our nation. It was the closest they have come to succeeding in their desires but we stopped them!