Drunker than a nine-eyed cooter.

We Southerners have a way with descriptive language:

1. Drunker than a nine-eyed cooter.
2. Colder than a witch's teat in a brass bra.
3. Harder than day old fruitcake.
4. As useful as teats on a bull.
5. Easy as pushing a rope.
6. More stubborn than a Missouri mule.
7. Crazier than a loon.
8. Like a frog on a June bug.
9. Interesting as yesterday's news.

That's nine.
Colorful turns and twists in the language that are still in use in the gentile climes of the South but that are becoming used less and less.
There are more and as time goes by they are less.