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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Friday, July 30, 2010

Altered States

Drunk dad didn't notice his car full of children was on fire 
A father was so drunk driving his three children around he failed to spot his car was on fire. Adam Whitehead, 36, had his kids aged just nine, seven and five in the car with him when he was five times the drink-drive limit. A court heard how a woman driving behind Whitehead's car noticed black smoke billowing from his Fiat and sounded her horn.

Whitehead failed to stop but when he eventually got caught up in traffic, the worried motorist got out of her car and banged on his window. When he then still failed to act, she and her mother pulled the children out of the car and on to the pavement. Even then, a court heard, Whitehead failed to notice his missing kids and carried on driving - leaving them stranded by the side of the road.


He eventually stopped 70 yards away and was breathalyzed by police who discovered he was five times the limit. He told them he had drunk a bottle of vodka the night before. Huddersfield magistrates spared him jail and sentenced him to 16 weeks in prison, suspended for two years. Chairman Mary Hirst told Whitehead: "Your driving ability was so impaired that you didn't even realize the clutch had burnt out and the car was on fire."

The court heard that one of his children was in the passenger seat with two in the back as he drove to a friend's house in Huddersfield, West Yorks, last month. When he was arrested by police he said he had stayed up drinking alone until the early hours to celebrate a job offer after three months out of work. He had driven a mile. The court heard he had previously lost a "high paid" job and was depressed after splitting from his wife who was in France. The pair still lived in the same house together because of financial constraints. Whitehead pleaded guilty to driving over the limit. He was banned for three years and told he must complete an alcohol treatment course. The dad was also told to do 60 hours' unpaid work and pay £85 court costs.

Marijuana critic paid to get stoned
A Denver man gets paid to smoke pot and write about it as one of the first medical marijuana critics in the US. A decade after medical marijuana was legalized in Colorado, it's estimated about 2 percent of residents - or more than 100,000 people - have applied for medical marijuana licenses.

According to one Harvard economist, roughly $18 billion is spent on pot every year in the U.S. Denver's Westword newspaper has capitalized on those numbers - hiring the man known as "William Breathes" to review pot dispensaries and the quality of the medical marijuana they sell. "He has his journalism degree," a Westword editor said. "He was a good writer, and he could also punctuate and he could spell, which was very different than a lot of people who applied for the job."

Breathes has been smoking marijuana for 15 years to ease chronic stomach pains. Now his medicine is paying his mortgage. "Load up a little bit and taste it," he said as he tested a joint he bought at a local dispensary. "Try and taste the smoke as it comes out. It has a really woody finish, almost like a mesquite finish to it. After a few hits, try to see what kind of buzz it is."

Breathes says his job can definitely be fun sometimes, and he still can't get over that he gets paid to take bong hits. But he also believes in the power of marijuana as medicine. "When I'm battling throwing up, pot really helps me the most - it's truly medical," he said.

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