Until
recently many people assumed the Secret Service did nothing more than
guard the President and his family while wearing a stony expression and
talking into their sleeve.
But then we discovered how much Secret Service agents like to get drunk and carouse with prostitutes, which led us to wonder "why do they have so much steam to blow off?"
Secret
Service agents have to do pretty much anything the Prez tells them to
do, like carry all of Jimmy Carter's luggage or shield Lyndon B. Johnson
while he pees outside (and on the guy's leg), so that's a start.
When mistresses and wives needed to be kept separate the Secret Service goes to work, and when the shrub's underage daughters wanted to go out drinking agents are there to keep them out of jail.
Unable
to relax, much less party, because you're too busy protecting the POTUS
family while they get their ya-ya's out? Now that's a valid excuse for passing out in a hotel hallway in Holland or getting crazy in Cartagena!
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